What the young nitwits don't understand is he is using it to vacuum up the dirt.

Or makes a great leaf blower.

Beats the crap outta using a broom.....

Not really an old fart joke but true --Years ago I was working for an outfit and one of the higher ups was retiring. We all were "invited" (substitute told to go) to the dinner at a really fancy resturant. This guy was out of the office in Chicago and was a real Guido,hair slicked back, get ouwta heagh guy thought he was certified lady killer. I got luckey and had to sit two seats down from him. This guy was about 75 yrs old. Real nice sweet polite little southern waitress  waited on us. This guy just kept on doggin her and the remarks kept getting cruder the more he drank. Ole guido said something like I'll take you back to my room baby and show you something. This gal had enough and said in a loud enough voice we all could hear Yeah what would you do you old fart stand me on my head and pour it in I haven't seen that. we laughed till we like to have wet ourselves. Guido shut up the rest of the night.

I heard through the grapevine that one of Split's kin won a new boat.Yea; top of the line, big motor , tandem trailer and all.

Went and picked it up , drove up in the front yard and blowed the horn.

Wife comes out to see it. Says well, that ought to bring a good price, help out too, since you too lazy to work.

Old boy says; Woman , you crazy, I'm gonna take up professional fishin, just like them guys on television.

Wife laughs and says; Why you old fool, all you ever done was fish on ponds with a cane pole, sides that they ain't no place big enough for that boat in 10 miles of here and you ain't got no gas.

Old boy says, well, I'll just practice around here till I get up the gas money, and heads out toward the barn.

After while his brother comes up lookin for him. Wife says; Durned old fool is down toward the barn with that new boat he won, says he's gonna practice and be one of them pro fisher men like on television.

Brother goes down to the barn and finds his brother out in the middle of the hay field in the new boat just a chunkin away with a new rod and reel.

Brother hollers, WHAT YOU DOIN?

WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOIN, I'M FISHIN.

Brother says; HOW'D YOU GET THAT THANG OUT IN THAT HAY FIELD?

PADDLED IT , AIN'T GOT NO GAS.

Brother says; WELL PADDLE ON UP HERE, LUNCH IS READY.

CAN'T; HIT BOTTOM ON THE WAY OUT HERE AND BROKE THE PADDLE.

Brother hollers back; WELL STAY OUT THERE YOU DURNED OLD FOOL, I AIN'T COMIN GET YOU, I CAN'T SWIM.