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(Forum Home)--->(Jokes and Stories)--->(Be careful where you stick yer trunk!)
Thread Admin: Splittinhairs (18-0-0) Posted: 04/13/2011 at 10:15:23
Total Posts: 2
Thread Title: "Be careful where you stick yer trunk!"
Splittinhairs


Crocodile Attacks Elephant - Watch more Funny Videos

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Seller: -CaptJim(34-0-3) Post#1 - Posted: 04/13/2011 at 14:42:14
-CaptJim

That could also be BITING OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW. I wonder how that Croc is going to pass the flat look off to his buddies.-Capt"Jim"SurprisedYellLaughing

Seller: Hartwell Gun(1348-1-4) Post#2 - Posted: 04/13/2011 at 20:23:45
Hartwell Gun

I LOVE MY JOB!!

This is even funnier when you realize it's real!
Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.

She then sent it to radio station 103 .5 on FM dial in
Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.

Read his letter below...
~Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad
after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I
wear a suit to the office.
It's a wet suit.
This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the
sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to th e diver through a garden hose,
which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no
complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is
take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water.
It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my a$$ started to burn.
I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was
done.
In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my a$$ was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say, I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling
thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but
my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't crap for two
days because my a$$ was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it
would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I
love my job.'

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a
jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!!



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