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(Forum Home)--->(Jokes and Stories)--->(1st SGT John's Chicken farm....)
Thread Admin: c3shooter (38-0-0) (Last 10 Posts) Posted: 04/12/2011 at 19:34:43
Total Posts: 7
Thread Title: "1st SGT John's Chicken farm...."

After 30 years in the Army, 1st Sgt John was retiring- along with the parrot he'd had since he was a Corporal.  He decided he would start a chicken ranch.  So......

He goes to the chicken store, and tells the salesman he would like 500 white chickens, only to be told there was a chicken shortage- they could give him only 250 white, but they had another 250 brown chickens in stock.  John allowed as how that should be OK.  He carried his 500 chickens home, and put them out in the yard.

Being late in the day, he figured he'd best get the parrot squared away as to the new order of things.  He stood the parrot on its perch, and said" Alright, parrot- Listen Up!  We're not in the Army any more- we're civilians.  No more reveille, no more morning formations, no more Oh-dark thirty on the company street.  We have the easy life now,  Do you understand me?"

"Awk! Yes, First Sgt! Understood!"  So John gets snuggled down in his bed- but at 0500, the parrot starts his normal routine- "AWWKKK!  Reveille, reveille, fall out, form up, fall out....." 

The First Sgt reached over, snatched up the parrot, opened the window, and sidearmed him out into the chicken yard- closed the window, and slid back into bed.  But about 3 minutes later, there was the worst racket he had ever heard.  He sat up, looked across the room, and FEATHERS were coming down the chimney into the fireplace.  He grabbed his pants and his shotgun, and headed out to the chicken yard-

Where he was greeted by the sight of a huge pile of 250 DEAD white chickens.   Right next to the 250 brown chickens- standing in 4 ranks, dressed right dressed, and covered down.  Up front, the parrot was striding back and forth, and yelling "The next time I tell you yardbirds to fall out in  khakis, you will damn well fall out in khakis!"


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Buyer: 5thcommjarhead(71-0-0) Post#1 - Posted: 04/13/2011 at 05:08:10

Old jarheads will surely remember "Green side in, brown side out - run in circles, scream and shout!"

Buyer: brainaxe(20-0-0) Post#2 - Posted: 04/13/2011 at 06:05:01

(5th - that sounds more like your underwear instruction label) Innocent

Buyer: 5thcommjarhead(71-0-0) Post#3 - Posted: 04/13/2011 at 06:22:34

Y'know, you can find underwear in a plethora of colors and patterns - except for the one most needed - brown stripes.

Buyer: Splittinhairs(18-0-0) Post#4 - Posted: 04/13/2011 at 06:23:48

Ahhhh, the ol slab O Bacon in em after a week at Deer camp.

Thread Admin: c3shooter(38-0-0) Post#5 - Posted: 04/13/2011 at 09:20:44

Jarhead- for your reading pleasure-  (or find someone that can read them to you)



Buyer: 5thcommjarhead(71-0-0) Post#6 - Posted: 04/19/2011 at 11:05:59

I have some of "Dunc's" books.  Sadly, he just passed away a few weeks ago.

Buyer: grappler8(25-1-0) Post#7 - Posted: 04/28/2011 at 22:50:41

Rest in piece Dunc and God bless and keep you Jarhead, Thanks for your service.

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