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(Forum Home)--->(Hunting Stories)--->(New Direction for the war on terrorists. Send "Prior Service" Vets over 60.)
Thread Admin: AA-bob (3-0-0) (Last 10 Posts) Posted: 01/15/2008 at 10:31:54
Total Posts: 7
Thread Title: "New Direction for the war on terrorists. Send "Prior Service" Vets over 60."

Interesting Concept I received in an email today:

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. (You can't be older than 42 to join the military.)

They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. "My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry!" We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m.

Old guys always get up early to p** so what the h**l. Besides, like I said, "I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we like soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sgt. now, "Get down and give me ... er ... one."

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked us on September 11. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million pi**ed off old f**ts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

If nothing else, put us on the border and we will have it secured the first night.

Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so you can read it. .

(Start a Thread) (Forum Rules)

Former Seller: OLD RATTLER(170-0-0) Post#1 - Posted: 01/15/2008 at 15:12:48
(no avatar) GOOD IDEA.

Seller: Fyrd(16-0-0) Post#2 - Posted: 01/15/2008 at 16:22:22
(no avatar) Where do we volunteer....dibs on a Ma Deuce.....

Seller: Hagrid(13-0-0) Post#3 - Posted: 01/16/2008 at 05:37:22
Hagrid Let me see the scenerio. Me,Cryo Rattler Ferd and 5th behind a wall, got to 20 meters to cross the street to get to the other side and safety,5th,being in command says he'll go first and the rest are to provide suppression. " OK boys, I'm gonna cross on three you guys cover my ass while I run across and fyrd you just get some rest. You all set? you each got four 30Rd clips ? Don't want you to run out before I get across and leave me hanging.Speaking of which, let me check my kilt. Check your watches. 1300hrs now be on the other side by 1305. Ready, NOW.

Seller: Fyrd(16-0-0) Post#4 - Posted: 01/16/2008 at 09:13:11
(no avatar) Why don't we just drive whatever my .50 is mounted on? The lead in my butt sometimes finds its way to my foot. As long as 5th promises not to 'Britney' us getting in and out of the vehicle we should make it....:)

Former Seller: eastbank(23-0-0) Post#5 - Posted: 01/16/2008 at 12:41:00
(no avatar) one thing for sure our laundry bill would not be as much as we wouldn,t sh*t our pants as often. and being ready to die of old age at any time any way, we would not scare to easy and after seeing just about every thing there is to see,we would not miss to much if we were killed. and not having to worry about the rest of our lives, it would be a hell of a way to go. i think i would be better at it the second time around. eastbank.

Former Seller: Pappa Jim(52-1-0) Post#6 - Posted: 01/17/2008 at 06:43:28
Pappa Jim Hell, just pull our boys and girls out of Iraq and send in the B2's with a couple nukes each. Once you turn all that sand into glass send the troops back in with 50 cal Barretts. Kinda hard to hide behind a wall in an all glass house.

Buyer: Rusty47(10-1-0) Post#7 - Posted: 01/17/2008 at 10:05:38
(no avatar) The way these terrorist are crossing our borders we won't have to travel all that far to them. The only trouble is identifying who they are right now. So keep your powder dry because it's only a matter of time before they begin doing what they do best over here. Later!

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