Two catholic preists decided to take a well deserved vacation to the carribean. When they arived they decided they wanted to be like everyone else and not be recognized as preists so they went to town and bought swim suits, sandles and sun glasses. They were on the beach enjoying a drink when this topless knockout blond came walking twards them, not being able to help it they both turned and watched her walk by, she nods at them and says "hi father, hi father". They were besides themselves how she knew they were preists. The next day they go to town and buy some really outrages outfit to conceal they're identity. Again they are enjoying a drink on the beach when the same topless blond comes walking by and says "hi father, hi father". The preist cant take and asked the blond how she knew they were preists, she said "oh father, it's me, sister Cathern".
A Catholic Priest is walking down the sidewalk when he comes by a man with a flat tire. The man is just cursing up a blue streak. The Priest stops and says 'my son, if you would just pray to the Lord instead of cursing things would go much better than they are'. The man really feels bad so he stops and says 'Lord, I am sorry for the way I have been swearing about getting this tire changed. If you forgive me I will say a prayer tonight in thanks'. All of a sudden the jack goes up by itself, the lug nuts come off, by themselves, the tire comes off, new tire goes on, lugs nuts tighten up, jack goes down and back into the trunk.' The Priest looks and says 'I'll be Godxxxxxx.'
Priest walking down the street sees a kid shaking up a small bottle. Unable to stop himself, the father asks what is in the bottle. The kid replies turpintine father. I see you have a bottle of sorts around your neck too, whats in there. The priest replies it is holy water my son. the kid says holy water? what does your holy water do? the priest says it preforms many wonderous miricles. Oh yeah. like what? Well, If I rub this on a womans forehead, she will pass a baby. Kid says, thats nothin, I rub this on a cats a++ and he'll pass a motorcycle.
A topless young woman walks into the Catholic church. The priest says "Sorry, but you can't come in here like that." She repies, "I can go anywhere I want, I have a Divine Right." The priest says, "Your left one is real nice too, but you still can't come in here like that."
A very rich man gets bad news from his doctor that he has only 3 days
left to live. Not knowing what the true faith really is, he gives
1 million dollars each to a priest , a minister, and a rabbi with the instructions
to throw the 3 packets into his grave so he'll have money to spend in the after
life. As the three men of the clothe were leaving the graveyard after doing
this, the priest said, "brothers I must confess I only put 1/2 the money in the
grave.' The minister said I too kept most of the cash to help the poor in my
church. The rabbi yelled at them for being greedy...."I put a check in there
for the whole amount"!!!!! bob